Christmas Letter - 2005

Dear Friends and Family:

Okay, well, how to put this exactly? 2005 has been another challenging year – not without its pleasant aspects, but overall a difficult one.

Big news out of the way – Robert and I are no longer together and I have moved (please see new address below). Without going into too much detail (“what?!” you exclaim, “as if this should differ from the details you make us suffer through for the remainder of your letter? How is this different?” Well, it is, so there.), we had differences and problems that I had hoped we could work through, but indeed it ended up that we could not. That is the primary reason that 2005 has been so hard, as this happened in February, but as time has passed, it’s become a bit easier to think about and to deal with.

Now, on with the show.
Speaking of shows (my, what a smooth transition, Rob), I started the year off nicely with my friends Rusty Clark & Glenn Edwards, seeing A Number at New York Theater Workshop, and then saw Pacific Overtures. Both were nice, but not terribly memorable. Better was The Rivals at Lincoln Center, which was great. I spent a lot of weekends upstate at the house, where I met a new friend (through Ed Finley & David Gillis), Tim Bruno, who bought a lovely A-frame house up there. I also enjoyed getting to know a friend from work, Guy K**** [deleted due to stupid google searches & interview candidates], and his partner, Lucien S, who in another example of small world coincidence works with my ex, Chris Apostle, at Sotheby’s. Guy and Lucien throw very entertaining and wonderful dinner parties where I get to meet other people and figure out what the 1 & 2 degrees of separation are. Lost yet? I’ll draw a diagram – but it’s funny how New York can be a very small town sometimes.

Our little town was dealt a huge blow in January with the passing of our friend Laurie Linton. Laurie was a wonderful presence in our community, fighting for equal rights, greater visibility, and bringing a calm and graceful determination to everything she did. She is sorely missed by all who knew her.

Now, back upstate, Tim also introduced me to several guys in the larger & larger social circles up there – including Steven Eliades, Robert, Conrad & David and Dan Bohan – all of whom have hosted some lovely events during the year. I’ve also enjoyed seeing Buzz Kelly & Barry Gurin (and their gorgeous house – really one of my absolute favorites up there), and Maurice Seaton & Greg Brooks at a variety of social events, including artist openings at their antiques and art shop, The Blue Victorian, in Jeffersonville, and my neighbors both in the City (they helped me get my new apartment in their building – thanks guys!) and upstate, Anthony Varrecchia and Bill Hinson, who no longer own the store WeGe up there, but promise to bring their exquisite taste and keen eyes to another store or venture at some point in the future. Of course, I always treasure any moments I get to spend with my friends Doug Stroup & Steve Porter both in the City and in the Catskills, and over the course of the year have very much appreciated their continued friendship. I had my first viewing of Female Trouble with them in their NYC apartment, which was fun, and saw a couple of summer stock shows at the Forestburgh Playhouse upstate (the longest running summer stock program in New York), along with seeing Ann Hampton Callaway at the Bradstan Inn, which has become an annual tradition for us.

Not much more work was done on the house this year, but I did have some new French drains dug – in a continued effort to keep the basement dry, which often feels like a losing effort, but has to be done nonetheless. I also got a used pick-up truck – yee haw! I have to admit to loving it – a sporty off-road package Ford Ranger (which I’ve named Strider, after the nick-name of the LOTR character) with nice big tires that seem to just run over anything in my way. I finally got rid of the 1992 Camry (LaToya), which was my first car in the City, and decided that if I got a truck, then the “city” and commuting car could be a regular ole sedan instead of an SUV. So, I followed up this summer with a good bargain on a 2-year lease for a 2002 Audi A6 (as of yet unnamed). I love the all-wheel drive, especially now that the snow is back with a vengeance. Fun stuff! Lots of great guests upstate – which I strongly encourage – John Bainbridge & his dog Cervo came up to the house for the weekend, as did Jeff Lettiere (Cis) & Bill Smith at various times. I had a big group up for Memorial Day and a few people as well for 4th weekend. Jim, Tessie & Stella came up for a great summer weekend, and habiby Mark Haddad and Steven & Ripley Drukman joined me for a weekend in August. A great weekend in August was the result of a fun mix of people: Ian & Marc, Guy & Lucien and my cousin Brad & his wife Karen Cordell. Rex Bonomelli & his boyfriend Philip made a great visit in late August, and I enjoyed my first Day to be Gay in the Catskills Labor Day weekend (I’ve been at weddings for the past 4 Labor Days!).

For trips, I went to Louisville twice this year – once in January and again in November – to visit my cousin Dr. Gloria Roddey, along with Dr. Marilyn Schuler & Mimi Jolicouer. Unfortunately, their dear friend (and mine), Dr. Mary Ellen Rickey, passed away in the fall of this year in between those visits. It’s another hard blow of mortality which it seems - often now - makes me stop & reflect on life, and trying to live it well. I think that Mary Ellen can rest in serene peace knowing that her life was truly well lived, although she is greatly missed.

I had a nice vacation to Puerto Vallarta with one of my best friends, Peter Ente (who, if you recall, is also the daddy to Rowan’s little brother, Gryffin…so we’re related). We stayed at the Blue Chairs & had a great time in the sun & surf. I’m looking forward to a return visit at some point this winter. I also went out to Los Angeles to visit him and Gryf, and while I’m there I always love seeing my other LA friends, including Ken Storer, Tom Ford & Le Northcutt (although he’s always traveling, so I generally miss him). I always have fun meeting new people out there too, especially Jerry Carnevale, who promises a visit to NYC soon.

I also went on the “R Family Vacations” cruise again this summer. This time it was to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Boston, P-town & Martha’s Vinyard, and I went with Jim Flacche & Jeff Lettiere. We had so much fun, and once again I got to spend my birthday on-board the Norwegian Dawn (although just as fun was the joint birthday slumber party we had at Cis’ apartment before we left for the cruise). It was my first time to Nova Scotia & Martha’s Vinyard, and both were great. There were lots of great entertainers on board, including Cyndi Lauper, Melissa Ethridge, Liz Callaway and John Tartaglia from Avenue Q. Next summer will be an Alaska cruise, leaving from Seattle, and I really hope to go! Anyone want to join?

Later in July, I joined Paul Brennan and Paulo Pacheco in Miami Beach to go to the wedding of our good friends Ed Guedes and Ric Ryan, who celebrated their 10th anniversary by having a very special and exquisitely executed ceremony (I love seeing something that’s been so carefully planned come to fruition so flawlessly). It had been a few years since I’d been to South Beach, and it’s just as sunny and fun as I remember, and Ed & Ric’s beautiful wedding was truly an inspiration.

Back in NYC, I enjoyed seeing On the Mountain at Playwrights with Peter and Purlie with Jim Flacche and then going to Daniel Vater’s fun birthday party at Elmo. Also, work at Barclays Capital got more interesting, not because the work itself changed, but because a friend from law school started in our department – Ian Sterling. I’ve had fun getting to know him better & his partner Marc & their dog India as well. In the continued intertwining of different parts of my life, my dear friend ‘Stina DiZebba moved into the 3rd floor of Ian & Marc’s lovely brownstone in Brooklyn. Mark Alvino & his partner Werner joined me & Cis to see Dessa Rose at Lincoln Center, which was good (but not great). Guy Dilger was in town for a short trip, and I joined him and his mom for a great dinner at Café Loup. My Mama was in town in April, and we saw Steel Magnolias on Broadway, which was a fun birthday present for her, and spent a nice weekend up at the house, ending up the weekend with a Chorus concert in New Hope, Pa.

Speaking of which, I stayed active in the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus again this year. I danced for the first time since my ACL replacement surgery (in May 2004) in our March concert – it was an 80’s theme, and we re-created the Thriller video, complete with great ghoul makeup, and I also got to sing my first (very brief) solo – the Go-Go’s Our Lips Are Sealed. Ah Belinda Carlisle, eat your heart out, I was fabulous – well, in my mind at least . . . The 80’s fun & nonsense was a great distraction during a difficult spring, so I was thankful for that. For the June concert, no dancing for me, but “just” the singing was a fun end to our 25th anniversary season. I had even more fun being a volunteer bartender at the Pier Dance, which was great - I’m definitely looking forward to doing it again next year! A group of us also did a short film this year called Desperate Magnolias, which was a spoof cross between Steel Magnolias and Desperate Housewives, written by our talented & twisted Jeff/Cis. I got to play the “Shelby”/Julia Roberts character – sort of, and it was all put together by Loopee’s talented partner, John Racyn, and shown at the Chorus retreat this December. Everyone loved it!

More Spring and summer theater – Cis and I saw the very funny Musical of Musicals, and a group of us from Chorus went to see Sweet Charity with Christina Applegate. She was a lot of fun, as was the entire show. Barbara Blanck and I went to see The Appletree at Encores!, and I saw a great concert of the NYCGMC Ambassador Chorus at the Plymouth Church of the Pilgrims, in Brooklyn. Cis joined me again for Memory House at Playwrights, and Tessie Nam joined me to see BFE there as well, which was excellent. One of my favorite things I saw this year was Light in the Piazza at Lincoln Center, which I’m eager to see again. Constant Wife was also good, which I saw with Cis, and La Cage was a good revival. Streetcar, which I saw with Matthew Carmody, was ok, but I just hate the Studio 54 theater – in a word, it’s just an awful venue. Fun and edgy was the production of Hurly Burly, which I saw with Jim Flacche; harrowing and very well performed was Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, starring Kathleen Turner; and exquisite was Doubt, with Cherry Jones – every time I see her, I’m blown away by her acting. All Shook Up was a fun Elvis-inspired review I enjoyed with a few friends from work, and I enjoyed seeing The Tale of Bonnie & Clyde in the New York Musical Theater Festival, which was written by my friend Michael Aman, who also had me up for a great brunch to his & his partner Michael’s house in Ulster County – the next county over from Sullivan, where my house is located. Rounding out the culture & theater year were Fran’s Bed, seen with habiby, the King Tut exhibit and the Nellie Olsens in LA with Peter and Tom, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Doug & Steve, Spamalot with Flacche, Manic Flight Reaction and Miss Witherspoon, both at Playwrights with Cis.

I had a fun time at my 10th Reunion from Columbia Law School. It’s difficult to believe that ten years have gone by, it seems like just yesterday I was starting law school, scared and excited to be in Legal Methods & meeting my classmates. I’ve enjoyed catching up with one of my classmates, Paul Allenby, a few times since the reunion, and it was great to see so many people who had traveled very far to attend (farthest award goes to Nadine Debbas, in from Beirut!).

Also a fun evening was a trip to 6 Flags with some friends for Gay Day in the early fall – I LOVE their new ride, Kingda Ka, which is (for now) the tallest roller coaster in the world and fastest – it goes from 0 to 128 in 3.5 seconds! And my Mama thinks I drive fast? I would have stayed on that ride all night long if they let me. About a week after that, Brad & Karen’s older son, Brian, was in town for the day, and took me to see the Zang Toi fashion show in Bryant Park – a great New York experience that I hadn’t yet done. Thanks Brian! I also spent a beautiful September weekend out in the Pines on Fire Island with my friend Daniel Vater – I always love the end of the season sales at the shops there too. Late October I had a fun short visit with my friend Sinde Wickersham, who has now moved to Alabama – so I won’t be able to see her in Texas when I’m at my Mama’s for a visit.

Babies, babies, babies! – it’s been a big year for new additions to friends’ families! Christine & Philip Courtney had their little boy Miles at the end of January. Ed Finley & David Gillis had adorable twins, Luke and Emma this year. Cori Flam & Brad Meltzer had their second child, Lila, in June, and I was lucky to visit with them and to see her & big brother Jonas in July with Paul & Paulo. Jessie Beeber & Jason Scherr had their adorable little Max in July. Scott Ulrey & Jeff Greenbaum’s son Jacob was born in July as well, and will soon be home from sunny Guatemala (and my friend Julie Grossman at work is beside herself with excitement). Ariane Austin & Abid Qureshi had their daughter Amara in August, and Paul Brennan & Paulo Pacheco are the newest parents of our group, with the adoption of their beautiful baby girl, Isabel. Congratulations to all the new (and new again) parents! It’s wonderful how life just marches on, and all of you have so much to offer these fortunate and wonderful children.

November brought a long-anticipated and joyful event – my sister Amy got married to her (almost 3 years) fiancé, Mike Dahl in a lovely small family wedding in Atlanta. The newlyweds seem very happy and the entire weekend was very special. I loved being able to spend time with her, Mike, Mama & Wyatt, my Uncle Buddy & Aunt Mary Jane Roddy, Uncle Jim & Aunt Barbara Cordell, and cousins Brad & Karen Cordell. This wedding and celebration of love was really the redeeming factor for me in 2005, making the other events, frustrations and challenges come into perspective. A big congratulations to Amy & Mike on the joyous occasion. While in Atlanta, I also enjoyed seeing my old NY friend, Bradford Smith – come back to NYC Bradford! I came home from Atlanta to spend a few days with one of my other best friends, Gene Kim, who was in NYC to run the marathon (and did very well, by the way). He is very much missed by his friends here, but it’s always great to have a visit.

Thanksgiving was really nice up at the house – Cis, Danny Baillie and Bill Smith joined me upstate, and we cooked and ate up a storm. It even snowed, and we had a lovely blanket of pure white fluffy stuff to add to the festive spirit and fun times. With their presence, I had much to be thankful for.

The holiday season is now well upon us, but I’m just now (mid December) writing the letter because I’ve been so busy with Chorus stuff. Chorus retreat weekend in upstate NY was busy, hectic, exhausting and great fun as always. I danced this concert in the number “I Wanna be a Rockette”, complete with real Rockettes (although we couldn’t call them that because of trademark restrictions), a kick line, the whole thing! Also, Elaine Stritch was our guest artist, and she was amazing. Now that the Chorus Holiday Concert is over, I’m going with a couple of the guys to see our choreographer, Ann Cooley, in the Radio City Show, and rumor has it that we’ll be able to do a little kick line with her on stage after the show, and maybe even meet a few camels backstage!

For Christmas, I’ll be going to my Mama’s house in McKinney, outside of Dallas, for a few days. Amy and Mike are coming from Atlanta, and Wyatt’s boys are both living in the Dallas area as well – so we’ll all be together. I’m looking forward to seeing my family and friends, especially my adorable god-children, Ani, Anthony & Izzy B (oh yeah, and their parents Jen & Tom), Christmas Eve dinner at the Barracloughs (hopefully!), and a date with my sister to see The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. She and I read The Chronicles of Narnia books more than a few times when we were young, and I just loved them – I’m very excited to see them adapted to the big screen.

New Year’s will be a quiet one upstate with some friends, a nice dinner, and Regis counting down the ball-drop in Times Square on TV. If we’re not snowed in, I’ll finish up the weekend and start the year off with a few laughs watching Jackie Hoffman celebrate Hanukah at Joe’s Pub (I can only imagine what treats are in store).

I hope this year has been good to you all. Each of you are in my thoughts, although so much time goes by without the opportunity to let you know. I hope you have a safe, healthy and prosperous 2006, and that the new year brings you every joy.

Rob’s current contact information:

Address
250 W. 19th Street, Apt. 5L, New York, NY 10011

Phones
mobile: 212-741-5181
upstate (most weekends): 845-439-8288

E-mails
robc212@aol.com or robert.cordell@barcap.com